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Sorority Row is a remake of a 1983 movie with almost the same name. This surprised me because I wasn’t familiar with it and while watching this movie actually accused it of ripping of “I know what you did last summer“. Apparently that movie ripped the original version of this movie of, but then again movies about pranks gone wrong which lead to a serial killer slasher are a dime a dozen. And that is exactly what Sorority Row is, a dime a dozen, because it’s a basic slasher movie with a gimmicky killer and your run-of-the-mill characters with a deserved R-rating because tits are all over the place.
And that’s what the movie is: I know what you did last summer with tits. Well naked tits of course and instead of the natural wonders of Jennifer Love Hewitt it seemed that everybody got a surgically enhanced chest for their Sweet 16.
That’s just wrong.
OK, so a prank goes wrong and a guy named Garrett rams a tire iron into a girl he thought to have accidentally killed. This was the prank she and her sorority sisters were playing on him, but he would ram a tire iron in her beats me. So of course they ditch the body in an abandoned mine shaft to avoid possible jail time and have that obligatory oath never to tell anyone. Months later someone texts them with a picture of the bloody tire iron taken at the mine shaft and soon after everybody involved gets taken of one by one.
The gimmick of the killer is that he walks around in one of those graduation robes, of course on the day of the graduation because he would stand out any other day. Ever since Scream it seems the killers need to have an entire outfit instead of just a mask which makes it all the more sadder that we don’t see these guys preparing their kill. I mean, one girl is offed when visiting the psychiatrist so how does he get there. Does he wear the robe from the moment he steps out of his house or does he change just before going in? It’s these kinds of details I’m interested in.
These movies are all about the kills and Sorority Row acknowledges that by having some graphic creative ones. There’s an update of the flare-gun kill from “Friday The 13th Part V” and a very cool kill involving a bottle of wine. I’m pretty sure Linda Lovelace would have survived that kill.
The killer also uses a tire iron he customized with sharp objects and uses that on multiple occasions as a throwing knife.
It’s a decent slasher, but a bit uninspired and I’ve seen the prank-go-wrong plot a bit too many over the last few months. But that’s because I did watch the “I know” – trilogy not too long ago. The actrices are all eye-candy, one more than the other but also have a plastic feel about them. Their characters are the standard bunch you see in these movies and would probably not be friends in real life. There’s the bitchy leader, the wimp, the slut etc. One that deserves a special mention is Rumer Willis. I have read a lot about her looks and I must admit there is something weird with her jaw line. Her characters wasn’t only rather annoying but her weird facial structure really stood out, especially since all the other girls looked like swim suit models.
And I’m not the kind that immediately judges someone by their looks, I loved Carrie Fisher in the movie, Princess Leia still knows how to kick ass, and I love the now rather non-attractive Kathleen Turner in Californication. But Rumer Willis just doesn’t have what it takes to be a respected actress.
It’s a decent slasher, but nothing more and rather unoriginal when it comes to the plot.
