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If I was lazy this review of Double Agent 73 would just be a copy of my review for the movie Deadly Weapons. But unlike director Doris Wishman I at least try to create something new with each review I write instead of just copying and pasting everything and changing a few names and locations. Double Agent 73 is the second and last time Wishman would make a movie revolving around the talent of her star: Chesty Morgan. And her sole talent being a pair of enormous breasts.
Those breasts were the focus and main attraction of Deadly Weapons and they remain so here. Double Agent 73 follows a familiar beat as Deadly Weapons. Chesty Morgan is a secret agent who has to infiltrate an international drug ring and uncover the true identity of a man who goes by the name of Toplar. In Deadly Weapons Chesty uses her boobs to kill criminals, whereas in Double Agent 73 her left boob is equipped with a camera allowing her to take pictures with her tit by pressing it.
Her assignment requires her to take a photo of everybody she assassinates. So there’s plenty of moments she has to take her tits out to take a picture. And even if she’s not taking photographs, she often seen in revealing outfits of just walking around in her apartment naked. This movie is as boob-centric as its predecessor.
Running at a mere 73 minutes Double Agent 73 still manages to drag. After receiving het camera implant the movie constantly repeats the same cycle over and over again until the final 10 minutes. Chesty receives a name and a location, finds the person in question and takes him or her out. After that the boobs come out, the screen flashes white and a shutter sound is heard and it’s on to the next name.
There are a few scenes thrown in between like a Psycho shower scene rip-off featuring a girl that had no part earlier in the movie and is never named. She’s just in Chesty’s apartment for some reason. Fun fact: the bathroom in which this scene is shot, is the same bathroom Chesty in which takes a bath in Deadly Weapons. While the characters have different names in each movie my theory is that after Deadly Weapons Chesty has been recruited by a spy agency and the name Jane Genet is just an alias.
Much like Deadly Weapons, Double Agent 73 is a prime example of bad movie making. Right from the start we are treated to a shot of a house which starts with a close-up shot of a bedroom window zooming out to reveal the entire house and then zooms back in to the same bedroom window. The movie then cuts to two guys playing cards in what is clearly a downstairs location. These guys are talking but both their mouths aren’t moving. Just is just the first example of a movie that is full of looped dialogue. Double Agent 73 feels like a foreign movie with an English dub.
Being a bit more ambitious Double Agent 73 contains a high speed car chase. Or in this case a regular speed car chase sped up by about 150%. The only thing missing was the Yakety Sax from Benny Hill. It’s silliness like this that make movies like this at least a bit watchable.
The main attraction, or selling point, is Chesty Morgan. More specifically: Chesty Morgan’s tits. Both her movies are centered around her tits and that’s all she actually brings to the screen. She has just one expression throughout the entire movie and she never comes across as sexy. The problem is that while Chesty might have huge breasts, they’re pretty saggy as they basically dangle around in front of her bellybutton. Aside from her boobs there’s nothing much to look at. Pamela Anderson might have reached super stardom due to her breast implants, but even without these implants she was gorgeous. Chesty just looks like a miserable bored middle-aged women in both her movies. Movies through which she sleepwalks like a zombie on Ambien.
Double Agent 73 is more of the same and equally bad. There is little to no fun to be had and will probably not even appeal to men with a giant boob fetish. To those guys I would suggest visiting the nearest search engine and typing in “Rachel Aldana”. Have fun!
